WOW deep breath sigh roll roll sneeze sneeze cry cry fog horn.

I saw my brother today for the last time before he is going to become a father in a week.  Ha.  So let me first say that he is my older brother.  Three years older than me no we have not been really super close because we always seem to be going through different life stages as well seems to be happening with all my siblings at the moment and well for my life period.  No I am not going to go into the roll of a drama queen for the moment.  But I did want to write this blog post tonight.  For the simple reason that I feel overwhelmed by love at the moment.  Weird but true.  Caught in it out of the blue.  Ok I must grab more tissue cry cry.  He announced that suddenly various things occured sped up theh process of the birth of his first born daughter.  As ironic as things might have it he was out here on a business trip and blissfully I was able to spend time with him before he will become a dad for the first time.

It was interesting to see my older brother who let me just paint a picture for you very quickly that will not do justice because I grew up with him for all of these years.  Ok so he has been the quiet one that has watched over me and made sure that I was ok in his own little way that he could.  As only big brothers can do he will always see me as his little sister yes even though I am a grown woman not so little anymore I will always be his little sis.  I will brag about him for a bit…graduating from law school and then right after I mean back to back getting his MBA and seeing him evolve into the person that he is today has been an example to me.  Yes I just blew my nose again.  Ok as he looked at my sisters little girl Audrey as we call Audo knowing that he will be having his own little girl in a week, I unbegnost to everyone in the room privately wanted to cry because I knew that a new chapter in his life will soon begin.  I’m not sure when I’ll be able to see her hopefully I will soon but now my brother and my sister will be parents.  As it is it has not been easy being the only sibling not having kids sigh so this will definitely change the family dynamics but enough about me.

I had some time with Audrey and my mom tonight as my sister and her husband and my brother were off getting yogurt and as Audrey looked into my eyes she out of the blue reached to me and wanted to kiss me and I was so overcome yes weird um let me just say I am not the maternal type never have felt oh I just want to hold your baby* yes I did just say that I did not feel that until my siblings had kids i turned away because I almost cried.  Wow children are so sweet so trusting so loving.

When did we start to loose this as we got older?

As my brother said tonight as he was with his wife at a prental class he said I am just glad that it is you and not me because I could not do it.  Then right after he said look at all of these people we were at a restuarant they were all born in that miraculous way.  I wonder if I will be scared when this happens to me and I wonder what it will feel like to have my own.  Hm i’m sure I will be overwhelmed by these feelings as I already am at random small little moments out of the blue with my own siblings children.  Its also endearing to see my mom interact with them she has such a way with children man I could go on about this.  She really does have a gift with this.  Its like she speaks their language.

These are my thoughts that I leave with you tonight I hope they leave you with remembering what really trully is important in life: FAMILY.